Kim isn't going to be able to cast a vote this election. I'm guessing she's just a little bit upset about that, among other things. I'm pretty darn sure she's shouting at any TV which might be available. And she's probably pissed there's no Facebook to click and comment.
And reload. And like or love. (She likely wouldn't have figured out all the options.)Kim's Nov. 23 death has put our family on this yearlong journey of reflection. And for those of you who have followed this blog, your kind words and support have been truly amazing.
But this month, besides a bit early, I have to veer off a bit and give Kim a voice. She would have wanted me to do so, for she was not one who wished to remain silent.
Going back to last November, among one of Kim's last Facebook posts was her sadness over the refugee crisis in Europe and the Middle East. But it was America's response -- the lack of it, the hate and fear -- that prompted this mother of six and grandmother to scold.
It was a good scolding.
Had she survived, Kim would not be happy with the emergence of one Donald Trump and his ongoing message of hate and fear. (Some of you may want to leave at this point. Kim would likely have never removed her Trump-supporting friends from Facebook, but her messages would have been clear.)
But the latest news about Trump's narcissistic, sexist and demeaning ways with women would have been the final blow. She would have, putting in words the Trumpers can understand, been unshackled.
Any mother should be able to understand. The vulgarity, the over-the-top language, the bragging of affairs and girlfriends and agreeing his daughter was a fine "piece of ass" and eyeing a 10-year-old girl as his future girlfriend...and so on. It would have long ago tipped Kim's scale of decency.
She would have asked all of you to look into the mirror and ask yourself if that's who you would want representing this great nation. This already great nation. She would have asked you to talk with your daughters and see how they felt about Trump's ways and words. She would have asked fellow mothers about the times they were whistled at and touched and treated as objects, then asked again how your daughters have too often been objectified, groped at a bar or worse, turned upside down at a wedding dance.
She would not have listened to arguments about eight years of an Obama presidency, for she would have asked you to truly listen to Michelle Obama's amazing, powerful words and asked you to compare the contrasting messages and directions of the two campaigns.
Kim would not have tolerated the bashing of one Hillary Clinton, nor the criticism that she stayed with a wandering husband. She would have noted the difficulties women continue to face in the workforce, having to be that much better, that much more productive, that much more balanced than male counterparts.
She would have called a horse's ass a horse's ass.
And then she would have taken it one step farther and called her four sons. She would have asked them if that was typical "locker room" talk. And Kim would have heard from the boys that, no, it wasn't. And this proud mom would have known she did her best to teach her men to be better, to respect women. And they do.
That would have been Kim.
We all make mistakes. I made many more than Kim during our 36 years of marriage. But it's always been about moving forward, trying to do better, learning along the way, and then trying to do good again. It continues to be our family's journey.
Kim would sometimes roll her eyes at my stories of days gone by, of having visited with Hillary on two occasions, of having sat at the table with her in Washington, D.C. to help work on ideas and policies dear to us. (And she's probably rolling those beautiful eyes again.)
But as direct and unforgiving as Kim could be at times, she was a great assessor of the good in people. And she saw that in me, thankfully.
Say what you want about the Clintons. But that's the difference in this campaign. Moving forward with a sense of direction. Of hope, not fear. Of the potential good in all of us.
It was Kim's message as a social worker. It was Kim's message as a mother. It would continue to be Kim's message today.
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