Mother's Day 2016
This was a Mother's Day like no other. For the first time in my 59 years, there was no mom.

With Kim gone, we all tried. I bought hanging plants, because it's what she liked to do on these type of days. To my surprise, so did Mikell, who also bought small potted plants for the side of our house. It was one of those odd rituals Kim had, and she had plenty.

Andy, Sarah and Juni did similar things in Traverse City, Michigan.

Kim liked these simple things. She would be pleased to know the kids have been checking up on each other, trying to get some sense of how everyone was faring this Mother's Day 2016. She was so proud of her six children. So am I, more than ever.

But it's not the same, nor should it be. And that's what we all wrestled with. There's this huge hole in our lives, more so than we'd ever have imagined. Mikey's post late Sunday night summed it up, I think:

To a woman who loved with everything she had, who wasn't afraid to speak her mind and enjoyed a cold beer.

I more than miss you mom. I ache for you, and I so wish you were here.. Every single day I strive to be the loving, caring, helpful, sassy, strong woman that you were.

Forever and always Mamma.

Happy Mother's Day ❤️

You try to be better prepared for these moments, but I'm guessing there's truly no way to be. I have always told my kids that no one day means any more to me than any other. Live for each one. Every moment is sacred.

The week began with the grandson's first birthday on May 1. It would have been a moment, a day Kim would have both reveled in and pretty much smothered Myles, and been almost too much to bear! It was a day that I knew, eventually, would become emotional. Oddly, it hit Bill and I when I danced softly with Myles, as he fell asleep on my shoulder, listening of all things to the Adam Levine version of Prince's "Purple Rain."

Myles and I had been practicing during a babysitting episode a few days earlier. Who knew he'd konk out before the guitar solo. But it was touching, and a day Bill and Jess so wanted Kim to witness.

The week also included the Saturday dance recital of grand-daughters Bryce and Brynn at Mankato West, of which Kim usually was the loudest to cheer of all mothers/grandmothers.

I sat in the auditorium with Ben (right) and Mikell and couldn't help but get emotional again. Every one of these highlights, be it a birthday or dance recital or next Mother's Day, she would no longer experience. And we'll keep planning for Matt and Krystal's wedding without her.

So she needs to be in us.

Ambryn, who is anxiously planning a move back to Minnesota this summer with wife Alex, set up a mini-shrine in honor of Mother's Day at her place in Seattle. There is now a different, even renewed love for Kim.

We are stumbling through these days as best we can. And they are still very good times. But Mother's Day, of all days, tests one's soul.

We will make it. And we will make it together.